Choosing the Perfect Idol

In high school I had a best buddy who, like me, was seeking answers to questions relating to the universe, our purpose, and the after-life. He was, however, much more adventurous that I. Ray decided that he would study and learn about Hinduism, Hari Krishna and the like. He talked to me about multi-headed, multi-armed, half-beast creatures with specialized magical powers. The statues and idols he spoke of and showed me reminded me of my Catholic church days. Forget that we couldn't hardly pronounce their names. I mean, come on...two kids from the project...really!

Rubbing a fat man belly statue for luck or money just wasn't the answer I was hoping for in terms of where I fit in the grand scheme of things. Were life that easy, surely I would hit the lottery without any effort and so would all of my neighbors if all I had to do was rub the Budha's belly. Could all of life's ills be addressed so simply? Magical talismans and good luck charms...I maybe believed it for two seconds, but logic took over after that. My life was too complicated to put my faith into creepy cement, plastic or wooden pieces of art.

All of this made my water-walking Jesus buddy seem more practical. At least this god had a friendly and familiar face. You know the one...brown, long wavy hair; light skin; light brown or in some cases blue or green eyes depending on the artist's preference. How could he not be attractive to any normal, healthy female? What puzzled me was how this passive, kind and handsome man was so attractive to other men. Even today, I wonder about this? I mean, really...Jesus isn't what many would consider a "man's man" afterall. The love professed for this man has been described by some anectodal male commentators as feeling as though it may have "gay undertones." Word of warning ladies...If you can't seem to get your man to church, consider that he may be uncomfortable expressing his "love" for another man the way many do through the Christian church. If your man is all too comfortable...you may want to consider this, too.

But I digress...So I decided to stick with Jesus for a while...seemed like the only "comfortable" thing to do.