Catholic Learning Let-Down

The concept of "heaven and hell" always struck me as something of a mystery. Not so much in what either would seem like, but rather how is it that so many human beings on earth could find it within themselves to confidently describe "heaven" or "hell" as if they were some far off lands. The confident manner in which people wrote about or orally described with such detail the sights, smells and experiences. It was as if people had received brochures in the mail replete with photo journaling and historical essays about these foreign destinations. I'll admit that as a child, I bought into it. I could see these places vividly in my mind. Additionally, the fear of ending up in the misery of "hell" for all eternity was enough to keep me focused on my "salvation" and all that I had to do and think in order to maintain it.

The priests: stoic, aloof and unapproachable I always thought. Of course, recent stories about priests have proven that there were sufficient numbers of priests scattered throughout the world with pedophile tendencies. I thank Hashem that this was never a problem for me or anyone of my friends (that I am aware of). The nuns: solemn, angry, and impatient. It must be that they were quite an unhappy lot, I suppose, such that in today's church they've been removed altogether from public view. Were they really that bad for "PR"? Used to be that nuns were the primary teaching staff for what was referred to as "catechism classes."

The nuns mode of dress in my catechism days, was long, black robes with long sleeves and a "habit" or head dress that revealed only their face. I recall later registering for a class at a local community college where one of the instructors referred to herself as "sister." I couldn't resist: I asked why the title. She stated that she was, in fact, a nun from a local convent. Her mode of dress? A bright red, off-the-rack, short dress with plunging neckline! She educated me on the fact that her particular sect of nuns had adopted a more "relaxed" attire. That was it for me...I knew then...it was over. All that I believed up to then to be unchangeable...wasn't.

It was during my adolescent years that I really began to wonder about the content and validity of my Catholic learning. Quite honestly, I can't say with true conviction that my learning up to then was profound, meaningful or othewise helpful. For a time, maybe two or three times over the following five to six years, I turned my attention to Christianity. I went so far as to join a "Youth For Christ" program through a local Christian group in my hometown. My second concerted effort at understanding G-d and purposeful living...